Next op

I'm now booked in to have my Hickman line removed on Wednesday. This is a minor op under local anaesthetic which is only "a little uncomfortable" according to the consultant - this is of course doctor speak for it's going to hurt like mad and I guess that means I will be a bit sore on Thursday. Despite my wimpish fear of any medical procedures I am looking forward to this next step in removing some of the medical equipment that adorns my body.

I'm now three and a half weeks away from my last chemotherapy infusion and I would like to report that I am getting back to normal. Unfortunately, my impatient mind must wait a little longer. The tingling fingers and numb feet have actually got a little worse since the last treatment cycle - apparently this is not unusual and it may take months to go completely. Tiredness continues to be a problem and it's weird - a bit like driving a car with a broken fuel gauge - I feel fine and attempt a short walk only to that I struggle to make it back home, without any warning suddenly I find I have no energy and need to sit down and rest. Sarah is now getting used to this having gone to collect the car to pick me up after my last walk, and yesterday on returning from the kids guitar exams in Bath, having to all but carry me back to the car park.

I'm sure it's just a question of time, and I know I need to be patient and take things steady. It's very comforting to feel that the worse part of my treatment is now behind me and I can look forward to getting better rather than more ill.

The best things in life are free!

Heh! It's my birthday!

Despite feeling exhausted, I feel very happy and I have much to celebrate. I'm having a good day - let me share some of it with you...

• The sun is shining and bringing with it the promise that spring is just around the corner stimulating thoughts of renewal, a fresh start and new growth (I'm thinking beautiful crocuses like these outside my window, rather than nasty tumours!)
• Organic bacon and fresh eggs from the farm up the road for breakfast. Is there a better way to start the day? - especially when you are trying to convince yourself you could give up being a carnivore! (Eating too much meat is widely considered to be a factor in colon cancer).
• The White Album from the missis for my birthday and two tickets for the theatre in April. A playable copy of the eponymous Beatles album (I have a warped vinyl with dodgy looking burns on the sleeve reminiscent of a misspent college life); and the thought of going out of an evening. Ah the simple things!
• Two cards (so far) of young lads racing about on quad bikes (actually one is a go-cart). Could this be a promise of felling a little younger after 6 months of feeling old-old-old.
• Mum coming over and, for a change, she is visiting me at home instead of hospital, because ....
• I'VE FINISHED CHEMO. I should be having my final cycle today, but after meeting the consultant yesterday, she suggested that my exhaustion and worsening side effects indicate that my body has done enough. She also confirmed that she didn't think that, given my risk factors were fairly low, missing the final cycle would have no detrimental impact of my therapy.

I can't express how relieved I am to finish this 2nd phase of treatment. Although it started out ok, it has progressively got harder and harder and I can't wait to start cleansing myself of the accumulation of toxic pharmacology.

I will have my Hickman line removed over the next two weeks. I know this will spoil my chances of a new career in pole-dancing with my integral tassels swaying from my right breast, but on balance I think it will be worth it!

Within the next month I will be referred back to surgeon to have my stoma reversed. This means I will have one of those new-fangled arse things complete with special features of integral storage, control and sound effects. Simple things....