Anything but the dreaded NG tube

Today is just one long, slow continuation of yesterday. Gloom.

I'm talking with two nurses, Pippa and Anne. Both are of the slightly bossy, efficient, know-it-all variety that keep the country's NHS establishments ticking along, but they are good fun and I (now) know them well. My conversation is light-hearted betraying the way I actually feel, but I am aware this is helping me. Sarah arrives to join the 'fun' and all three of them are talking through options to jolt my gut out of it's reluctance to fulfil it's intended purpose of transporting food. Most of these options involve food and drink - none of which have any appeal or promise of success. Then Anne suggests an NG tube. I don't know what this is, but I can tell from the look on Sarah's face that I am not going to enjoy it. The process of inserting a nasogastric tube through my nose, down my throat and into my stomach is slowly broken to me. Sarah is reassuring and the nurses tell me: "It doesn't hurt, it's just a little uncomfortable". Roughly translated, this is nurse speak for "This is really going to hurt, you're going to really baulk at this and I would never, never let anyone do this to me"!

Pippa says to Anne (whilst looking at me, with a wink): "I'll get the tube. Do you want to push or hold him down?" We are still making light hearted, easy conversation to keep my fear in check and I naturally assume that this is a joke. Moments later, Pippa returns and they really do go for me! I'm too weak to resist as much as I want, and it is so retchingly uncomfortable. As always, I feel Sarah's hand in mine. I am aware of her past nursing career and her reassurance tells me that this attack is normal.

Once I have come to terms with the retching a little, a syringe is applied to the NG tube and an unfeasibly large quantity of dark green liquid is drawn from my stomach. Within only a few moments, I do start to feel a little less nauseous but it is not easy to say that this relief outweighs the constant discomfort and swallowing attacks stimulated by the NG tube on my nose and throat.

It is not a very comfortable night.