Oncology appointment tomorrow

I have an appointment with the oncologist tomorrow. I've just been writing down a long list of questions to ask when I get there, which seems to be a good way of making sure I don't get home and think - "ahhh! should have asked about ..." Unfortunately, it makes me realise how little I know about chemotherapy, even after watching the toll it took on my Dad 15 years ago when he was beaten by the same disease. No doubt things have changed significantly since then and I look forward to reporting back after things have been demystified a little.

Two celebrity deaths hit the news today: Patrick Swayze and Keith Floyd, both suffering from cancer. Floyd was carried out by a heart attack, rather than colon cancer which was diagnoses in June. Swayze had pancreatic cancer which is one of the most virulent and late detected cancers - there are very few survivors. He makes some pretty gloomy comments about chemotherapy which makes one sit up and listen to the alternative treatments available. It's not the easiest decision to make, especially when you consider what a blunt instrument chemotherapy is: essentially a non-specific cell murderer which happens to effect the most rapidly multiplying cells first - like hair, digestive tract,... and cancer.

It's daunting - but I am not disheartened and still hold the firm knowledge (that's stronger than a belief -- right?) that I will get through. I have a steady stream of friends and family who visit and am still receiving good wishes and cards - even 3 weeks on. Many, many thanks for that - I cannot express strongly enough how much difference this makes - I am firmly convinced of the power of collective thought.

I'm back-filling quite a lot of notes from the journal I kept when I was in hospital so check back to the earlier dates for more up to date info -- you may find it a little lighter than tonight's ramblings.