Normality returning

You Are Not Your Mind
On Saturday we all went to a celebration of Emma's life, a friend from Bradford who trained for the Bath Half marathon with Sarah. She had been battling with depression for some time - a battle she so tragically lost in August. In the relatively short time we new Emma we discovered an immensely loving mother, wife and friend. She was an incredibly active person - a doer, a helper an ambitious achiever of those things that are really important: the great outdoors, people, family - she had no interest in material possessions. As is too often the case with severe depression, perhaps this amazing soul/spirit/heart/life was invisible to her, masked by an ill-thinking mind painting a different picture of failure. As I listened to the speeches at the celebration from husband, brother, school friend, trainee nurse, and friends from Bradford - it is quite clear to me that none of the 300 guests would recognise this minds eye view of failure.

Alas, Emma leaves behind a husband and two kids and a huge network of family and friends who will struggle to make sense of this loss.

I was nervous about going to the event for fear of embarrassing myself amongst friends: I am still not a very expert BagMan and have had a number of accidents which keep me close to my own bathroom. My own condition and fear pale into insignificance as I watched and heard real courage and strength, especially from husband Richard and the kids who have far more to endure.

Inspiration to us all.

Mum's Birthday
On Sunday we went to my mother's to celebrate a happier event with my elder brother and his family. Mum lives a little under an hour away - I haven't been able to visit for more than 2 months. It was good to see all the work she has done on the front garden, which is looking much tidier, and most important for mum, easier for her to look after.

Mum cooked a beef casserole - a very welcome treat since red meat is severely controlled by the lead shopper in the Buckley household following recent reports linking red meat to colon cancer. It was lovely. Less enjoyable was the water I drunk while the rest of the adults exulted the delights of very nice looking Sancerre and Rioja. I haven't drunk any alcohol since learning about my impaired liver function following my last MRI scan - it seems more sensible to devote liver function to removing chemo drugs than alcohol, so I am teetotal until this is resolved.

One possible upside of the ileostomy is that it is quite difficult to keep your weight stable - the large bowel obviously collects quite a lot of nutrients - which I am not doing while resting mine. This meant 3 slices of birthday cake. The 3rd piece was a little over the top I admit, but my Aunty called in later in the afternoon and, well... somebody had to keep her company. (Yum-Yum).

This was my longest day out so far - I even managed to drive home to preserve the Sancerre guzzlers license.