Bagman's Christmas Message (chemo cycle 7)

I thought I'd get in before the Queen!

Thanks to all of you who sent cards - I think we have received more and sent less than ever before. Just one of those things that has fallen a bit too low down on the priority list. I hope you will all understand. I did persuade Ben to draw a pic for a 'custom card' - see above - but it never got any further than the scanner. We did manage to get about 15 bought cards out, mostly to friends and family who are unaware of my condition - of course they have all been pointed here -- welcome along! Also thanks to those of you who have texted, phoned, sent emails or attempted a visit - I will respond to all after things have quietened down a bit and I have recovered my energy from the current cycle...

The Buckley Christmas has been split up a bit this year to work around my treatment. My mum came over on the 23rd December and we had a full-on turkey dinner mid afternoon. Yesterday, I went to the hospital for my 7th chemotherapy cycle. A bit of a challenge to get there - I couldn't get either car out of our lane due to thick ice after Monday night's rain froze solid. I quickly abandoned that plan and sheepishly slithered along the untreated Westwood roads in a vane attempt to catch the bus from the other side of the village and came very close -- I saw it drive past the stop from the middle of the park. Eventually, I managed to get a taxi and got to the Bath clinic which went quicker than ever because I was 1 of only 2 patients. I'm still infusing 5FU now with my portable pump which will be disconnected at lunchtime on Boxing Day. The last cycle was the toughest so far, but I put this down to having picked up a cold from Ben and probably attempting to do a little too much. I attended a couple of 1/2 day meetings at work - 1 each week and, although I enjoyed getting a little more involved in the business, I did find it thoroughly exhausting. Yesterday's blood tests showed that my neutrophils (most common white cells - an indication of immune system fitness) were at an all-time low of 1.5 and considered borderline for chemotherapy to proceed. I will certainly be resting more in the early stages of this cycle to try and recover this, since I am very keen not to prolong the treatment beyond March.

Mrs. Christmas visited Hope Cottage this morning and, since we had inkling this might be the case, the usual tipple of scotch was substituted for wine - Rudolf was not on his usual form either: he only managed a couple of sticks of celery and half a piece of Christmas pud. The kids are now growing up (9 and 11) but have quickly learned that believers are receivers which makes for most interesting conversations, where it is clear that in this game, they are now calling the shots. Fortunately, they also now understand that 4am is too early to start ripping into the sack, so despite excited, tired eyes much earlier I am sure, they managed to restrain themselves under their covers and Granny wasn't disturbed  until 7am by excited whoops and squeals.

They have now all popped out for a walk in the sun with some neighbours, leaving me some very welcome solitude and blog time.

Well that's enough of us. Let me just leave you with a few thoughts which, I am sure have changed within me over the past year...

• Enjoy time-out during the Christmas break, forget about work and enjoy some time with those you hold dearest - friends and family alike.
• Communicate, be brave, wear your feelings on your sleeve and don't be afraid to share your highs and lows with close friends. Embrace strangers with smiles and a few friendly words and see if you can win back a smile of friendly exchange - it doesn't always work but (huh?), but more often than not a checkout queue or walk in the park is greatly enhanced (smile). We have been incredibly affected by heart-felt fond messages from family and friends, many of whom have expressed love and concern in a way they have never done before. Is it necessary to endure suffering, before we are able to do this?
• Prioritise the wonders of the world above the tinsel. A walk in the wonderful snowy, sun-kissed crispness is a rare treat at this time of year, yet it is amazingly uplifting and certainly beats the TV, GameBoy, or computer (I can't believe I just wrote that, busily tapping away on the mactop while the kids are out walking with Sarah and mum!). I heard a great line at the bus stop yesterday: 2 ladies waiting to catch the free bus to what must have been the busiest day for Tesco "We all love a white Christmas -- but not like this!", made me wonder what a white Christmas would look like without snow and ice!

Enough! Enough! Enough - festive frolics to one and all and, again, thanks for helping to make it so bearable for the sick boy.